Upstaging the bride

Date: 11/14/2016

I had promised to go camping with some friends, but mistakenly got the dates mixed up and had an important wedding (maybe my sister-in-laws?) to attend instead. At the wedding, I wore a wedding gown and my hair was stacked up into a beehive of a bun with a glittering of diamontes. Only, I felt like a bit of an idiot because everyone else was casually dressed - including the bride - who was dressed in a frumpy black jumper. I remember thinking "why are you not dressed up for your own wedding?" I kept catching a glimpse of my silly over-the-top hair in the reflection of the window and thinking "I wish I went casual!" Next scene: My friend, Terri, had finally become pregnant (after months and months of IVF) and my mum - who was sat around the table - was getting all emotional, hugging and congratulating her. I felt embarrassed because unlike a typical pregnancy, there was a chance that she might not carry full term and I didn't want my mum to get carried away. "I'm really pleased for you!" I told her. Next scene; I had left some cigarettes on the side and could hear my mum in the kitchen. I quickly hid them from her in my secret place. "I hope she didn't see them" I thought. Next scene; I was at car boot sale with my daughter Phoebe. As we were walking around we noticed that people were selling the weirdest stuff - like small pieces of thread. Phoebe found a scrabble board game and asked a 'very camp' guy in drag how much it is - he said it was £56 and we both gasped at how expensive it was. Eventually, we bartered him down to a reasonable price and the game was hers to keep. Next scene; I was watching an episode of Big Brother and suddenly found myself in the Big Brother house itself. There was a flamboyantly gay guy who was being bullied by the rest of the group. "This isn't right!" I thought. "This guy is awesome!" He was in tears, crouched down in the Big Brother bathroom. I went to comfort him. He reminded me of Rylan Clarke. Next scene; I was at Tony's house on his sofa. He kept trying to cuddle me under a blanket. His mum was on the other end of the sofa. "I need to go home! I thought "This is too much!"