Critical Role/betrayal(?)

Date: 9/20/2017

Essentially we were going to watch/be on Critical Role, but something happened and Evan thought I cheated on him, they decided not to do the episode. I didn't argue because I felt really bad and wanted him to have his anger. essentially I screwed things up and got angry because no-one would listen to me (incl trying to smash glasses but they bent under my grip instead). When I finally went back to explain and apologise they had started the episode, without me. I looked at Evan and he looked back at me with a steely expression. It felt like a knife had stabbed through me. I went to mum and she said that this is what I got and that I needed to man up and wait for the episode to be over and not be angry. I swallowed my anger and waited, just staring into the distance and feeling like I was dying. Mum then insisted we have to drive somewhere, I didn't want to argue because everyone was mad at me, but it took so long to get there I mentioned that we probably wouldn't make it back in time for me to catch anyone. I hadn't stopped crying but no-one really cared. We did make it back in time, begrudgingly, for me to catch the end of the episode. It took a while but I managed to explain the misunderstanding and they were like "oh, aha, sorry". But it felt like nothing would be the same anymore and no-one trusted me (and I myself had been betrayed to an extent but that was my problem and no-one seemed to care). I woke up and I still feel sad.