Killing my father.. for some reason

Date: 2/5/2017

I probably should have wrote this when I first got up, cause I forget some of the fine details but I will do my best. My dad who travels a lot for work, got back from his trip to Chicago. it was late at night and for some reason my dad was being pretty abusive, and for some reason he was kind of like keeping me and my sister hostage in our rooms. and we couldn't escape. my mom was in the house, but she wasn't a part of it really, I don't remember really. I don't know what was going on with my dad, but I eventually escaped my room, walked into his and saw he was sleeping and let his guard down. Now here is where it really went downhill Hill, and still bugs me right now. I went beside his bed, and started to choke him in his sleep. He woke up halfway through and tried to escape my grip, but I eventually was able to suffocate him. After that I told my mom and sister and we were relieved, but also had to dispose the evidence. From that moment on, in the dream I was shaken and could not live with myself. I was paranoid, and tried not to let anyone know what happened. After that there wasn't much else, The dream woke me up at 8AM, which is super unusual for me. I didn't want to write this, because I never want to be reminded of it ever again. And even right now while writing I'm getting a tear in my eye, because it may not sound like it, but first hand in the dream it was soul crushing. My dad isn't in any way a bad guy, I don't know what made me think of a dream like this, if anyone has any explanations for this, please do share.