My Baby Sister Reborn

Date: 3/19/2019

~My little sister died a few years back. Broke my heart, of course. She didnt look like her in her coffin. I had a dream that she was still alive, just hiding out somewhere and she sent me a message to let me know she was alright. I had another dream where I approached her in her coffin and just stared at her. After that I had one where I wdnt put down the pictures I had of her, bc without her pictures, I felt as though I had nothing. I have them occasionally throughout the year. Last night, I dreamt of her in a new way though. Not that she was still alive or that I had to accept her death, but rather that she was reborn. ~I was sitting on the couch at one end. On the opposite was my mother. And between us was my Spring. My little sister. She wasnt 22 like she was when she died, rather she was abt 8 yrs old. She sat there, still with a bit of baby fat, her blonde hair slightly past her shoulders. I looked down at her and all of a suddem had all this love and devotion to her. I put my head on her tummy and wrapped my arms around her white shirt and asked her what she was thinking about. She named a few things. I wish I cd remember what they were. "This...this..this..and that". I laughed at her precious little mind, and squeezed her tight. The more I hugged her, the more I began to cry. My crying got harder, but they were tears of happiness. My mother says "We need to go to the store, get your shoes on". Spring jumps up and says, "Yeah, Sunday, get your shoes on!" I stood up at Springs words and mum asks "What's wrong with you?!" And I tell her, "We have her back! It's actually Spring! When she died, it devastated everyone! It hurt SOO BAD! But God gave her back to us! The baby you gave birth to after she died, it's HER! It's not LIKE HER, it IS HER! And now we have these EXTRA years with her! We are so blessed!" My mum smiled and acknowledged that I was right. ~At that point, I find myself waking up ( in my dream ). I stand up and walk to the hall where my mum is standing with my older sister and I think my brother. I suddenly realize that Spring WASN'T with us again. As the realization hit, so did the tears. It hurt so bad I actually grabbed my stomach and my heart to try to stop the pain some. My mum looked at me and says, "WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!" I say, "Spring...she's not with us.." "OF COURSE SHE'S NOT WITH US! SHE DIED! WHY ARE YOU ALWAYS CAUSING TROUBLE?!" My grief due to my sister is now turning to anger towards my mother. I say, "I'M NOT CAUSING TROUBLE! WHY MUST YOU TURN EVERYTHING INTO TROUBLE, INTO A MISTAKE, INTO SOMETHING BAD?!" Her and I are both seething with rage at one another. We grab each other by the heads and just stare into each others eyes practically foaming at the mouths with hatred towards the other. We're now suddenly in the kitchen. Just her and I, but in the same position, same situation. We let go of one another and I grab the first thing I see, which is a thick bottle of orange nail polish. I hit her hard on the head with it and tell her how I wish I cd REALLY bash her head in! She says, "You probably just did hit me as hard as you can. You're so weak, you dont have the strength to hurt me." She thinks of herself as so strong and everyone else as so weak. She's getting chili out of the crock pot. I tell her that as angry as I am right now, I could probably completely bash her head in, no problem at all. She just rolls her eyes and says "Whatever". She takes her bowl of chili and starts to head upstairs. I make a cup of coffee and look around for my keys. I find them in the armchair. My mum hears me grab them and yells down, "Bye Sunday. Be careful getting out, it's dark outside". I reply, "I know. I kindof took my time getting my stuff together bc I was hoping you'd come back downstairs so I didnt have to walk out alone. At least if anything happened to me someone wd be there to see it. But okay then, I'll just leave i guess." And I do. I get home to Al. I grab my dream journal (which is an actual journal in my dream...small but thick, bound with brown leather). Al has the same book almost, just a bit larger. Im surprised bc Ive never known him to record his dreams. I look at it and see that although they look almost the same, the pages are different. The first 3/4 of mine is for recording dreams. Then there's a small section abt dream meanings, and then a few pages in the back for a calendar and whatnot. Whereas his entire book is a calendar and recordings for work. He asks to see mine, to read it. I say yes, but then I say, "Actually, I had a dream abt Spring last night that I wd like to record before I forget". I got a little teary eyed again thinking abt the dream. He hands me back my journal. In truth, I do wish to record my dream abt Spring before I forget any of it, but I also want to look through my dreams and make sure there's nothing in there that would hurt his feelings. ~Then I wake up for real.

AI generated interpretation This dream reflects a complex mixture of grief, longing, love, guilt, and unresolved emotions regarding the loss of your little sister. In the dream, your sister being reborn symbolizes your deep-seated desire for her to come back to life and the wish for a second chance to spend more time with her. This wish likely stems from the pain and regret you feel over not being able to have more time with her in reality. Your interactions with your mother in the dream may represent a sense of conflict and misunderstanding in your relationship. The anger and hostility towards your mother when she questions your belief in your sister's rebirth could indicate feelings of frustration and inability to fully express your emotions surrounding the loss of your sister. It may indicate a need for validation and understanding from those close to you, especially regarding the significance of your grief. The aggression towards your mother and the violent outburst with the nail polish bottle could possibly represent the intensity of your emotions and the internal struggle you have in coming to terms with the loss. It may also reflect feelings of powerlessness and frustration in dealing with the pain of the past. The presence of your partner, Al, and the dream journal in the dream suggest a desire for support and comfort in processing your emotions. The reluctance to share certain dreams with Al and the concern about potentially hurting his feelings may indicate a fear of burdening others with your emotional turmoil or a need to protect them from your inner struggles. Overall, this dream signifies a deeply rooted longing for closeness and connection with your deceased sister, as well as unresolved emotions and conflicted relationships within your family dynamic. It may be beneficial to explore these emotions further in therapy or through self-reflection to come to terms with the loss and find healing.