The One With the Nerf War

Date: 9/10/2019

By nicolezdzieba

(Bear with me, guys. This one starts out really terrible.) My mom has apparently died. Everyone is at my house, getting ready to have her funeral in my backyard. I’m apparently in shock, along with Renee and my dad. The three of us go outside, and Renee and I sit on either side of my dad. We’re all just completely silent. A car (with two guys in it) drives through my backyard. The whole thing with my mom starts to sink in, and I think about how I’ll never come home to see her again. I start to have trouble breathing. I think to myself, “This is a dream, this is a dream, this is a dream” (I was actually able to wake myself up from it and go into another dream) ... I’m in a garage somewhere looking down at my huge, pregnant stomach. I have red stretch marks all over it. I start saying how my body is ruined forever and how I’ll never be pretty because of it. Dylan (from The Bachelorette) rolls his eyes and says that this isn’t true ... I’m still in the garage, but now I’m not pregnant and Dylan is gone. It’s just me and this cute blond guy. A couple comes in and starts trying to have a Nerf battle with us. He jumps up in front of me to shield me from the Nerf bullets, and I cling to his back, pretending to be afraid so that I can be close to him. I vaguely wonder if we’re dating (because in the dream and real life, I have absolutely no idea who he is). The other couple leaves, and some of my friends come in. I look across the room at the cute guy who is suddenly not cute at all.