Awaiting Surgery and Confidence Issues

Date: 12/8/2018

For some reason, I got a brain x-ray in English class by a traveling surgical group that came in. They noticed something on the x-ray and said “it’s probably nothing but we should remove it anyways.” It freaked me out and they left. I was the only one concerned. My friend/guy I like started walking around school with me after class. He kept talking about this hot chick he was flirting with on Instagram and I kept comparing myself to her and I suddenly had never felt worse about myself. He kept trying to talk to me and I kept thinking about my upcoming surgery—which I hadn’t told him about—and what I looked like. When the surgery came around I was back in my English classroom, pacing and waiting. No one tried to comfort me as I panicked. My I kept checking the time even though I didn’t know what time they were coming. The group rushed in and set up a surgery table at the front of the room. They didn’t do much to sanitize it. They put a clock near my pillow and wrote 1-17 on it (I think they tried to do surgery in 17 minutes but I can’t remember for sure). They left the room to get more stuff and I woke up super on edge and anxious.