The One With the Baby Spoonbill

Date: 2/9/2024

I’m in what kind of feels like my parents’ bedroom in my childhood home. Renee and Kailee — who is actively in labor — are in the bathroom and Kyle is on a couch where the bed used to be. Someone hands me a tiny baby — the size of a potato — and I say, “Hi, buddy!” I suddenly realize that there are two even smaller babies in the bathroom already. Somehow, in my mind, these are all the same baby. I decide to go change the diaper of the baby I’m holding and then turn to Kailee and ask if she wants to do the first diaper change since it’s her baby. She shrugs and casually says something about how it doesn’t matter. I bring the baby over to Kyle … I’m in what looks like a Costco in the dark when — with a flashlight — I see a spoonbill flying around. I end up in a dark dining room where I find a baby spoonbill. It tries to fly, but can’t only get a few feet off the ground. I notice that it’s still white. I pick it up and immediately start freaking out about the fact that I’m holding a spoonbill. I’m nearly in tears by the time I ask someone to get a picture of this.