The One Where Orville Saves My Life

Date: 6/19/2019

I crush a roach with my bare hand. I’m really cool about it at first, but then I start to get a little uncomfortable, turn to someone and say, “Can you get this off me?” ... I’m dying (I apparently wanted to die, but then realized halfway through collapsing that I wanted to live). I’m barely breathing, and Orville is over me, attempting to save me. I start to come to when someone runs up to us with a basket. He tips it over, and several snakes come pouring out. He says, “Snakes are just so good for you!” At first I’m excited, and then I realize that they’re small cobras and coral snakes. I hop up so that they can’t slither onto me, but I stay close so that I can observe them. Eventually, I decide to just pick one up because “that’s what Steve Irwin would do.” ... I’m watching The Incredibles II, but everything is different. Samuel L. Jackson is narrating it, as if to cover the producers for messing the movie up. The first shot is of Helen on a cell phone, but her hair is completely silver and she seems to have put on a lot of weight. I hear Samuel L. say, “Yes, her hair has gone gray in a short period of time ... but that’s how it’s supposed to look.” I then notice that Frozone is a white guy (that actually kind of looks like Tony Rodinger) and I think about how this is so unusual for Hollywood to do these days.