More mom dreams

Date: 6/7/2023

Dreamt about fighting with mom. Can't remember what about. At least not how it started. But I know it progressed until I was saying things I promised myself I never would. Some of those things are ones that after she died, I wondered if perhaps I should have. But still feel relieved that I didn't? I don't even know. I know it was distracting enough that at times Kyle was even in the dream and none of the usual stuff that comes up when I dream about him came up this time. Instead he and I were more like we used to be a long time ago. Still best friends as much as brother and sister. And then weirdly I had a dream after that about going for a car trip with Travis (a good friend's fiance) in a strange but really expensive car. Black and yellow interior and exterior. Really low to the ground. We pulled up somewhere to get something that he needed for her. Then when we were getting back in the car he pointed out that I was getting in on the wrong side... and I said "right, of course, my bad" and walked to the other side. Thinking that it was because the car was an import of some sort where the driver's side is swapped from what we're used to. But when I started to get in the other side I noticed I was getting in the driver's side. And because once, in real waking life, I had decided that I didn't want to ride wirh him somewhere in town to run errands... because I was feeling particularly shitty that day, and my trust in humans on those days just isn't very good. Especially dudes. And especially, especially dudes who are loved ones of the people I love... Because I have already had to deal with people doing fucked up things to me. And then either not being able to tell the ones I care about (because of the next reason), or telling them, and watching the people I trust not only choose the other person, but to find some way to blame me. I guess because its easier than believing horrible things about someone else? Well in the first case, because if my mom believed me, she would have killed him. Straight up. And then her 3 kids would be in the system, with 2 parents in prison. So her brain made the split second decision, that its easier to call me a liar. Easier to believe I'm a kid with an overactive imagination. Easier for me to learn early in life, that telling people can be worse than not telling them. So I really don't like being alone with people's boyfriends or brothers or dads or any shit like that. It just saves me from having to learn what they really might be like. So I said no. Felt shitty afterwards, when I realized the reason he hoped I would go with him, is because he didn't know the town very well (hardly at all), and I had grown up there. Luckily he didn't get lost... but I felt pretty bad about it. So in the dream when I realized I was the driver, somehow my dream logic determined that this must be the reason why I'm the driver. Even though I don't have a license. Then we drove somewhere (don't remember driving, just arriving, but driving is usually a nightmare with no breaks, so that's kind of a relief). And there was this weird merry go round... it just had a lot of chains hanging down from the top to the bottom where the fancy pony seats would normally be... and a strange woman in the center. I don't remember what made her strange... just that I felt she was. Not in any judgemental way... just, strange. And then he bet me that he could stay on the merry go round longer than I could.. and he grabbed a chain with some kind of tool, I think? And I said "I can hold on to the chains anyway I like, right?" And he said "yeah, do it however you do it" and I grabbed the chain and wrapped it around my ankle a few times, before holding on to it with the rest of my body. Well my arms and legs. And that's all I can remember. Second time I have had a dream with some weird dream version of a real life thing, where he was there. (First one, their basement, but it was a cave I wandered up into, and I didn't realize it had to be their house until I saw him come down steps into the cave like it was his basement... now a merry go round that's just chains?)

AI generated interpretation The dream you've had could be a representation of the conflicts you have with your mother. It depicts you fighting with your mother, and throughout the altercation, you said things you told yourself you wouldn't but in reality never did. The dream could be a reflection of your inner conflict regarding whether or not you should have expressed your grievances. You're unsure if expressing your grievances would have been better, but you feel a sense of relief that you didn't. With the presence of your brother in the dream, it could depict a more nostalgic period of your life when you and your brother were still close. The dream could be you longing for the past, wanting to recapture the mutually beneficial relationship you once had. The second dream you had could be a reflection of a past traumatic experience you've encountered that involved trusting someone and ultimately experiencing betrayal. The fear of something awful happening again had made you hesitant to put yourself in a position of vulnerability with people that share an association with individuals who might harm you. The merry-go-round, with its chains, could depict your fear of not having control. However, with your daring move, you show that you're willing to take calculated risks. You're brave enough to hold on to something that could possibly be dangerous—the anklet. This part of the dream shows that, unlike the fear you had before, you're willing to take a chance while still trying to stay in control.