F*ck Off Spider! I'm trying to have sex.

Date: 3/19/2017

I was having sex with my husband and we were just getting into the Rhythm of things (even though my nose kept whistling?!) As I started thrusting my head back and forth, I saw a big fluffy spider with about fifty legs. "I'm sorry, but there's a spider crawling across the ceiling!" I said. "It's totally killed the mood!" We stopped having sex, and I asked Mat to get rid of it. He declined and darted for the door. I was left chasing it around the bedroom, trying to flatten it with a massive book. Only for it to crawl away again. This spider was invincible.