Reoccurring K Nightmare (+alternate ends)

Date: 2/17/2022

Started after leaving the house *In waking life* The same fight from Christmas day, when I left the house in sock feet, and the owner of the corner store in town let me stay in the store to keep warm/Offered me free coffee and food too. Other brother {C} had to bring me a coat and shoes, and walk me back home after. God I hate Christmas days... Though could have been worse I suppose, maybe that's one of the reasons I kept having the nightmare, and how differently it would end at times. I'm in the kitchen, near the bathroom and pantry doors, and he comes around the corner... In real life, I didn't know what to think, and as much as I wanted to believe he wasn't going to do anything extreme, I couldn't help but fear otherwise... To this day, I'll never know for sure. He cornered me, and I snapped. Badly. I was like a caged animal, screaming, kicking, swinging, scratching.... The dream has happened so many times that I'm not sure if this part is only the dream, or my real memory, but I may have even reached for his throat... The only clear word that escaped my mouth throughout the animalistic screams, was my other brother's name. He comes running up the stairs, right before running down the hallway to the kitchen. And as he does, we can hear him, and his face... I'll never forget, watching it ... Morph. And at the time, well just afterwards, I wanted to believe that what I saw was the realization hitting on his face, the realization that when {C} turned the corner, he was going to lose his mind because of what he saw/heard, and that he {K} was scared of not only the reaction from {C} but how bad it "looked", because he was trying to talk to me, came across too aggressively, and I flipped out (when nothing severe was really going to happen).... Sometimes I still want to believe that. Sometimes, I can't help but think of the moment in a psych thriller, when the malicious character (antagonist) has convinced everyone else that the protagonist is just insane... His face morphed, from one of anger, to one of fear, pure utter horror, and with perfect timing, backed away from me. As {C} turned the corner, it almost appeared as though I was attacking him, for no reason. Or even if for a reason, still in a way that was insanely inappropriate. I think on some level, C could tell that this was happening, but still. At least it was the second I needed to get away. In the dream.. Sometimes it starts in other places, but we always end up there, in the corner of the kitchen, and I can't say anything, sometimes I can't move, and then I'm just screaming, and trying as hard as I can to stomp on the floor to get C's attention. Sometimes I would actually call out his name. Sometimes, K is angry from the beginning. Sometimes, at first, he's just REALLY sad, crying even, asking me why? Why am I gone? Why did I not say why? Why? Why are you gone? Why didn't you just talk to me? And I want to tell him, but I can't, I want to hug him, but every time, whether I try to or not... He turns angry again, angrier than ever before. In the dreams its 50/50 who attacks who first.

AI generated interpretation Based on your dream, it seems like you have unresolved feelings and emotions towards a traumatic event that occurred on Christmas day. The dream may represent your fear of being trapped or cornered in a situation where you feel vulnerable and unable to defend yourself. Additionally, the presence of your brothers in the dream may suggest that you feel like they have a significant role to play in this traumatic event or in helping you to cope with it. The changing emotions and alternate endings in the dream may represent the ambiguous nature of the traumatic event, leaving you uncertain about what actually happened and how to interpret it. The recurring nature of the dream may indicate that you are struggling to come to terms with the event and that it continues to affect you on a deep psychological level. It may be helpful to speak to a therapist or counselor about your dream and the emotions it evokes so you can begin to process and cope with the unresolved trauma.