Made in Chelsea play poker

Date: 11/3/2016

By amandalyle

I was in a car with Jamie Laing (from Made in Chelsea) who told me that we needed to pick Tom up (a friend of a friend) but when we reached the bus station - where he sat waiting - he was slumped over and blind drunk. "Stay here! I'd better go and get him!" Jamie said. But Tom was reluctant - he was putting up a fight. Finally, he surrendered and allowed Jamie to drag him over to the car. In the car, he totally blanked me and was extremely rude to Jamie. Later, we were all sat around a poker table in what appeared to be a dimly lit basement. Tom, Jamie, Ollie Locke (again, from Made in Chelsea) and some others were there, playing poker and drinking. When I joined, Tom began to show off. He started cheating and being a pain in the arse. He poured orange juice all over the table and threw the poker chips into the pockets of what then became a pool table. Ollie took me to aside and told me that he had found the love of his life. "Oh! That's wonderful" I said, "who is the lovely man?" Ollie placed his hand on my arm and said, "No darling. No, not a man... a lovely lady. She's just wonderful. She doesn't have money, nor is she from wealth. She works in Morrison's and she is the most amazing person I have ever met" he gushed. He led me onto a 'salmon pink' balcony - that looked like it belonged in some exotic location - and there she was; this middle-aged Indian lady in a green Morrisons uniform. I was so shocked, I was lost for words. Then, as she walked closer to us, her skin grew more and more wrinkly - like a shrivelled up prune. All the while, my words still failed to jump off my tongue. Next scene; my friend, Kylie, had drawn up a huge diagram of reasons why Mat (my ex husband) is a complete and utter DICK! She flipped out a cane and started lecturing me on why I shouldn't get back with him...EVER. My friend, Robee, then agreed and told me that I need to get over him. She then swiftly changed the topic and asked me if I had sent out my Christmas cards yet, and I said "No, not yet. It's too soon!"