Dodgy lady parts, A cross-eyed Lady Gaga and a celebrity baby

Date: 3/15/2017

By amandalyle

A man crashed into my car and then had the nerve to knock at my door to sell me something. Under closer inspection, I saw that both cars had been smashed in. "What a mess!" I thought. "This is going to cost me a fortune!" As soon as I had clocked what the 'sales man' had just done, he made a rapid escape. I took note of his licence plate, and kept reciting it over in my head until I could get hold of a pad and pen, but by the time I had found them, I had forgotten it. Next scene; My friend had sent me a long and very funny message but at the end there was a picture of a naked body. The head was cropped out so I wasn't sure who it belonged to. "She must have sent it by mistake?" I thought. I couldn't help but stare at it. The 'lady parts' didn't look quite right. Next scene; I was in this modern and very large house. It belonged to Lady Gaga. She sat down on the bed and was banging on about vegetarianism. She seemed drunk - her eyes were pointing in different directions. Despite this, she seemed pretty passionate about being vegetarian. After her rant, she started handing out free dresses to people who were nosing around her house. Next scene; I was looking after Chrissy Teigen's (John Legend's wife) baby, Luna. She was crawling around in the back of my car. Mat was also there, blowing bubbles.