Date: 10/24/2016
By amandalyle
I was in town with my mum and daughter, Phoebe, looking for things to put in her Christmas advent calendar. As always she was steering towards the most expensive things whilst my mum and I were picking up the cheaper things and asking "what about this?" All of a sudden, my mums mouth started to bleed and she had to ask the shop keeper for a tissue. We left shortly after. Next scene; I was in a house I didn't recognise. It was a modern new build with a large garden. Tom from Hollyoaks was there, soaking a bible under a hose pipe in the garden, a look of mischief on his face. Meanwhile, a group of people I didn't recognise were watering a huge tree that, at first, was hunched over (like a willow tree) and then it creaked loudly to standing position. Everyone was amazed and clapped. I was then cornered by a bunch of foreign exchange students, who insisted that I should be in their selfie. I assumed they were Mat's new uni friends. "How irritating these people are", I thought. David came to the house to visit but I could barely keep my eyes open to engage with him. (He always bores me to tears, but today, I was particularly less enthusiastic to speak to him) He asked if I wanted him to take the kids to the park, and I nodded sleepily, but then he said "Oh, on second thoughts, I'd better not! I'm terrible with kids!" And with that said, he got up and left. "I'm so damn tired" I thought, resting in my red chair, while the children grew hyper and even louder. In the end, my mum came over (who had stopped bleeding from the mouth) and I jumped into bed and slept. But not without a feeling of guilt. Next scene; I had crawled under my bed to snoop through Mat's Instagram, but only having a few seconds before I got caught. I didn't find anything incriminating, but it was clear that we led two completely separate lives. I was left with a feeling of deep sadness. Next scene: I was driving over to Hankridge farm (retail park) to meet Liz, when all of a sudden, my clothes became soaked (especially around the crotch area) I had no idea what had made them wet (did I wet myself?) but I panicked and looked at the minutes ticking away on the dashboard. I quickly jumped out of the car and stripped naked in the car park (hoping that nobody would see me) and changed into a ghastly chavvy white tracksuit (similar to the one Honey G wore Saturday night on X factor as she sang her rendition of Ice Ice baby) . I parked the car and went to meet Liz in an upstairs cafe which looked like an old tavern. I accidentally tapped an overweight old man's bolding head, glimmering in the window light, thinking it was Liz, but then I found her sitting at the next table. I apologised for being late and told her about the embarrassment of thinking she was the fat man sat behind us. She laughed with a hint of "what the f*ck?!" When I got up to leave, I walked down a spiral staircase, when an old lady grabbed my arm and said "I'm Holly's gran!" I looked at her, confused and wracking my brains for clues to where I knew this lady from. I didn't recognise this woman in the slightest. "I read your blog! It's fantastic! I know everything tiny fragment of what goes on in your life!" She said to me, excitedly. I shuddered at the thought. Next scene; I was looking through some videos on my phone to find some I hadn't recorded myself but looked like they had been taken by other people. Out of curiosity, I clicked on them to find my (ex) husband bare butt with his erect penis celetaped to his neck. I remember feeling strangely turned on as I watched him hunched over and hopping around on one foot. I flipped to the next video to find his mother standing at a urinal, and was so shocked I threw my phone down instantly. I then realised, when I looked in the mirror, that I had two hickey marks on my cheeks... "how did they get there?" I wondered. Next scene; I was on a beach. It was cold and sand was blowing everywhere. I dug the sand to find something I recognised. It was my favourite slippers... filled with sand. "My slippers!" I beamed, hugging them lovingly as if they were a child.